(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Self-care can get a bad rap in some groups and cultures. Personally, it’s taken me a while to really believe deep down that there is a distinction between self-care and selfishness.

Don’t get me wrong, any individual can mislabel something self-care and simply be ignoring their responsibilities or relationships.

For the sake of time and space, I’m going to assume a rightly-motivated act of self-care, specifically as it relates to homeschooling parents/guardians. You crazy individuals are with your kids all the time. All. The. Time.

Trust me, people think you’re crazy and, let’s be honest, sometimes we feel we are too.

I have a leaning towards Type-A perfectionism.

I’d like to say I’ve mastered the struggle but it’s something I have to check myself on usually on the daily. This leaning drives me to skip beneficial acts of self care in order to check off as many homeschool tasks and subjects that I can.

While I may achieve more check-marks with this strategy, it’s usually at the expense of more important things. Let me explain myself.

When I choose to not implement wise acts of self-care in my day I find myself embodying the image of a workaholic.

The title of workaholic usually has a negative connotation behind it and usually that’s spot on. My vision becomes laser focused, the blinders go up and I push myself and my bears at a hard and fast pace in order to complete the work I’ve assigned us for that day.

Imagine a woman trudging ahead and dragging her kids behind her. That’s the idea. By the end of the day the assignments may be done but we are all exhausted and disgruntled. There is a better way!

First, let me explain the ideas that helped me to embrace the idea of self-care or self-compassion (or whatever you’d like to call it).

Matthew 22:29 says,” Love your neighbor as yourself.” Fleshing this logic out you could ask, how can you love your neighbor as yourself if you don’t love yourself?

Or, put another way, would you want a friend you care for to treat herself and talk to herself the way you do to yourself? If the answer is no, then why do you think it is okay for you to do that to yourself?

In his book, ‘Finding Quiet‘, J.P. Morgan speaks to this idea as such,

“People with healthy self-love are far more motivated to grow, to do well in various activities, and have a greater zest for life than those without self-compassion. Furthermore, people with self-compassion are more resilient and better able to regain emotional well-being after adversity and are less prone to anxiety and depression.”

J.P. Morgan

The longer the idea of self-compassion steeps in my mind the more comfortable I am with taking self-care actions throughout my day.

Let’s move in to the practical acts of self-care that I have found to really help:

Exercise:

Guys, I’m not pretending to be an expert in any of these fields, especially not this one, haha.

I can tell you what I’ve learned from my own experience though! Exercise, (just a little bit), boosts my mood, gives me energy, and, oh… is also good for me. Win, win, win.

Do I do better schooling my bears with a brighter mood? Yup. Can I last longer in the school day with more energy? Definitely.

Going back to fighting against a perfectionist mindset, I used to think that if I could not do a full and complete workout then I would just have to miss exercising that day. Wrong-o!

In total, I probably exercise 20-30 minutes a day, but usually I break that time up into different segments throughout the day.

Sometime in the morning, (ideally before the kids wake up, but that usually only happens half the time), I will do some Pilates stretches and a few circuits of weight training. That’s about 15 minutes.

Remember though, a homeschool day has so much flexibility in it. Some days I’ll bring a set of dumbbells down to the kitchen with me to do some exercises while I cook breakfast. Multitasking for everyone’s benefit!

Usually after lunch I try to do a few laps around our suburban block. That’s another 10-15 minutes. After each of these small workout sessions I am feeling energized and encouraged. I also try to do these bits of exercise by myself to give my brain a small break from kid-noise.

My bears are old enough now that I’m able to steal away for these short amount of times. I cannot tell you how much I look forward to these exercise breaks.

I think I’d even go so far as to say I exercise for my mental health first and physical health second. Everyone’s in different seasons with different ages so just search for a habit that works for you where you’re at!

Added Bonus: I created this workout (with ChatGPT’s help) for myself and have been enjoying it! Click the button and download it too. Let me know what you think!

Diet:

Again, not an expert here… but I do speak to one monthly! I’m not sponsored by this company at this time so this is a pure and sincere shout out. Y’all need to check your insurance benefits! My insurance company pays for me to see a dietician on zoom once a month through the app “Fay.”

I would have considered myself a healthy person before meeting with my dietician but she has given me some tips over the last year that have really helped me out in dramatic ways. So again, it’s worth it, check with your insurance company on the benefits you might be able to access for free or little money.

Moving on, one of the main things I try to focus on with my diet is blood sugar regulation! This has been huge. I won’t get into the nitty gritty but here are some bullet points:

• Eat three macro-balanced meals
• Use a nutrition/calorie counter if you are unsure of how you’re doing with macros
• Get 10 grams of fiber with every meal (this is harder than you think)
• Eat enough protein at each meal, this amount will differ depending on your body type
• Drink enough water every day (I carry around my emotional support cup)
• Try to eat your last meal 3-4 hours before you lay down to go to sleep

Working to balance my blood sugar levels has made a huge difference for me each day. Again, more energy, better mood, and healthier for my body! When I am feeling better I usually am teaching and parenting better!

Pauses (self-regulation):

An AI definition on google sums up the psychological term ‘self-regulation’ as following, “Self-regulation is the ability to control your behavior, thoughts, emotions, and impulses, encompassing skills like emotional regulation, impulse control, and adapting to changes. It involves self-monitoring, self-evaluation, and self-reinforcement to achieve goals and manage situations effectively.”

Sometimes we tell little kids to count to 10 before they burst out in anger. I think the principle applies here also to homeschool parents/guardians.

When you have taken up the job of homeschooling and are therefore with your kiddos all day long, it takes intentionality to keep your cool and remain mentally and emotionally steady.

I am not pretending that anyone can do this perfectly, but I have found that taking little pauses or breathers throughout the day really does help.

I’ve gotten better at “sensing” when I need one. If I’m sick, had a rough night of sleep, or something of the like, I know to give myself more space and grace that day.

After teaching several subjects in a row, I recognize that I would do well to give everyone a ten-minute break.

In the morning, before I even attempt to hardcore parent/teach, I take my cup of coffee, sit in a chair and read a few chapters of the Bible. This helps me “gather myself” and remember what is important for the day ahead.

Throughout the day, I may go to my room and shut the door for just five minutes. Five minutes of quietness-ish, can help to bring me back to a calmer mental place.

In summary, taking care of myself is taking care of my kids’ teacher and parent. Think about that. Do you struggle with self-care? What are some lessons you’ve learned that help you in this area? I’d love to hear in the comments!